i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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