I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have post one night stand depression
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