i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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