Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
