im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
