Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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