We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
