This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
