You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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