hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And then my night got REAL pukey
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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