i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
