dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
4 words: hood of his car
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize