Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I can't turn off my feet"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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