I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
