oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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