just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
