dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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