Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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