Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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