We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
