Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
