Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
