it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
