i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
