How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
