is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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