Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize