She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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