After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My life is pants optional.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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