"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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