At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
