are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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