Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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