i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
