So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
