She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
