But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
