I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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