Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
