Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
