i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
