Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
