I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
