Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
