The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
