Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize