we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
