I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
