Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
