Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
