i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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