so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Never underestimate the power of titties
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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