Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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