yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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